Punk Bands Interview - August 2nd, 2005

By Katie Ellsweig
Source

On June 6th, 2005, Andrew McMahon, long time songwriter and front man for Something Corporate and Jack's Mannequin, told the world that he was diagnosed with Leukemia. Shortly thereafter, he was admitted to a hospital. Andrew is home now, preparing for a bone marrow transplant which he will receive from his sister. On August 1st, 2005, Andrew wrote in his online journal, It's going to be a good month, I can feel it.On August 2nd, 2005, Andrew spoke to writer, Katie Ellsweig, passing on his wisdom and giving her insight into his life and the music that he is so proud to have created.

Katie: Now that you're home recuperating, and I'm sure it's great to be home, have you been up to any new song writing? How has your attitude towards songwriting changed?

Andrew: I question whether my attitude will ever change. I started writing when I was nine years old when my uncle passed away from cancer. In a lot of ways, why I do it is more out of a therapeutic sense than anything. It will probably always serve that same function. To say I've been writing a lot would be a lie. You see in this situation how much energy it takes to write a song and I haven't had the chance to write a ton of music. I did get to finish a song that I had started for my sister Katie, the song is called 'There, There, Katie.' She was a match for my bone marrow and myself and the guys of Something Corporate went in and recorded this song kind of as a gift before she goes in to do her donation, so that's the main thing that I've finished and I have a few other ideas that I'll develop over the course of the year.

Katie: What was going through your mind the day you wrote that blog entry telling the world about what was going on in your life? How did it feel to let all those people into the uncertainty of your personal life when you yourself had just come to terms with it?

Andrew: It felt really natural. It's funny because in the early days of this thing, my management was really sensitive about how much everyone knew because I think they were trying to protect me but if you listen to any of my records you know that I'm not exactly shy about telling people what's going on in my life and the relationship I have with people who listen to my music has always been so strong that I didn't want to just dip into the shadows and disappear. At that moment, I remember I had just gotten off a plane and I wrote that entry in the van going from the airplane to the hospital. It was a pretty weird thing for me but it helped get some things sorted out in my own head before I went into the whole treatment.

Katie: You have had so much support behind you through everything thus far. Not everyone has that. Does having all that support make the weight of the situation a little easier to bear? Does it make you more determined to get through it?

Andrew: Absolutely. I think it's a weird thing because you hear about all the complications and directions that this disease can take and you don't really want to think about that or be in that position. Having people around is a huge thing; it's a reminder of why I want to be here and how important it is to be healthy and well and ready to do what I do again. I've always been in a lot of ways a pretty private person and very much an individual and a lot of that gets stripped away when you have to get taken care of. I've never been sick before and I've always been independent so I've learned a lot about letting go and letting the people around me take care of me and help heal me. There were days when I would wake up in the hospital and just be so bummed out and then someone would show up and it could turn the whole day around. I can't imagine going through this without that.

Katie: Music has incredible healing powers. What is some of the music you've been listening to lately that has had an effect on your spirit and your morale?

Andrew: That's a good question. I've been listening to a lot of Reggae actually; a lot of Bob Marley. When I got into the hospital, I woke up and had started coming to terms with the fact that I was going to be there for a while and the first thing I did was go into my itunes and put on my entire collection of Bob Marley and dance around a little. I've been listening to some of the more fun music I have in my collection like The Kinks and obviously Bob Marley.

Katie: I'm sure your fans have been great through all of this writing you letters and such. Have any of your fans done anything particularly touching?

Andrew: There have definitely been a handful of things. There was a period of time in the hospital when it was hard to read and to focus on any letters so I still have quite a bit of mail to get through. In particular, there was this one thing that was really hard to miss, a fan sent over to my management this amazing hand that was three feet tall and painted with all these various different Something Corporate and Jack's Mannequin references. It was amazing. I have it in my house now. Every one of those letters is pretty effective in general. It's crazy to see people write things ultimately saying that I've had such a positive impact on their life and now they're trying to get me positive. It's so awesome to be in a band period and get to play music but then to know that the people you play it for have such good hearts and want to keep me well and nurture me,I'm pretty blown away.

Katie: Hopefully soon you'll be getting back to work with Jack's Mannequin. What sparked the decision to take part in Jack's Mannequin? Were you at any point just getting sick of Something Corporate?

Andrew: We were all sick of our situation to some extent. We were so tired. Most people who saw us play live knew we were coming through major cities three or four times a year. I wouldn't trade any of it, but we just never took a break and it's a hard thing for anybody to be in that situation where you're living so closely to not just our band but our crew and you wake up every day in a confined space. It's an interesting life when you start to forget what it's like to be home and have a house and a car. I'm not complaining, but we were all just tired and we decided it was time to just take some time off. We had no intention of breaking up but we wanted to know what it was like to be an individual again. At the point that we took the break, it was a natural thing for me to go into the studio and just put these songs down. That's what ultimately became Jack's Mannequin. We recorded most of those tracks just for fun really so I didn't lose them or lose the energy of recording them at such a pivotal time in my life; a moment when for the first time ever I was on my own.

Katie: When you go from performing with Something Corporate to performing with Jack's Mannequin, what's really different?

Andrew: It was bizarre. I really didn't start hitting my stride on that tour until just about the time I was put in the hospital. For the first handful of shows, it felt really unnatural. In my life, I'd never played onstage with any other guys before and ultimately because I was in this new situation it was kind of weird. I'd lived in the recordings and it was weird to go from recording to playing them and it's a tough thing to really even think about. For the month we were on the road, we had a blast and it was amazing but playing the shows themselves was a really difficult thing. I didn't realize exactly why until I got put into the hospital but my body was on such a sharp decline and I didn't really know why. Just getting up off my piano stool during a show was a difficult thing to do so some of those experiences are tainted by the fact that I didn't feel good and I didn't know why, but it was an honor to be onstage with those guys.

Katie: I have to ask this,a long time ago I saw a picture of your piano and it had a Hanson sticker on it. Are you a Hanson fan?

Andrew: I cannot say that I am a Hanson fan. I've never really heard a Hanson record, but I'm not saying I'm not a fan. It was given to me by a pretty big Hanson fan and I figured I couldn't do her wrong so I put it on my piano.

Katie: So, new Jack's Mannequin album comes out this month! What's always the most exciting part of releasing an album? What's really special about this album for you?

Andrew: It's obviously a new scenario for me to put a record out because normally I'd be out on the road promoting it. I think for me it's special in the sense that I've never worked on a piece of music so hard in my life and what it took of me to make that record and how much has changed since it started and just how far I've grown as a person, it's a culminating event for me. I've never been so proud of a piece of work in my entire life and I think this album was the first time that I had to really look back and just massage it into the exact place that I wanted it to be. I think it's such a great representation of who I am, what I'm doing and where I'm going. I'm thrilled! I won't lie, I will be in the hospital when it's released, so it's a little bittersweet for me but it really motivates me to get better faster and get to the other side of this thing more quickly so I can get back to both bands. I've got a lot to accomplish and this is a hurdle but getting it out of the way quickly is important.

Katie: I'm sure you're aching to get back in front of the mic. How long until we can expect to see you up on stage again?

Andrew: It depends on what capacity my body is in and I don't want to make anyone nervous because I really don't know. There are a lot of wildcards and it just depends on how I react to being treated. My hope is that the minimum will probably be another three or four months before we even know how well the treatment turned out so those months will go by without performance. My goal is at least to be able to get out and do some TV appearances and start getting myself back into it to some extent but I think we'll probably get into another summer before I'm back to my normal touring routine.

Katie: How long do you think you'll be able to juggle both bands? Is there still a future for Something Corporate or do you think the time's going to come when you have to choose?

Andrew: The thing about Jack's Mannequin is that it's really more of just a project. I put a band together just to take it on the road obviously, but I think Jack's is just something I did because I had the time to do it. It's not really a challenge to do both. I kind of do one while I'm not doing the other. I know that Something Corporate is planning on going back into the studio as soon as I'm well enough to do so and the next record I put out will be a Something Corporate record. I wouldn't have anyone be too nervous about the band breaking up or anything, it just takes time.